Hebrews Blog 2

“And without faith it is impossible to please God, for whoever would approach him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who seek him.” Hebrews 11:6 NRSV
“It's impossible to please God apart from faith. And why? Because anyone who wants to approach God must believe both that he exists and that he cares enough to respond to those who seek him.” Hebrews 11:6 The Message
I seem to go through random times of doubting. I think every Christian also goes through the same thing. This past week has been one of those randomly-finding-thoughts-of-doubt weeks. While the seem random, they are placed right before worship at chapel or during a Bible class. They are not strong doubts. Actually, most of them have started off with the words “What if...” you know. “What if there is nothing after this life?” “What if people have twisted God into what we believe today as a loving God?” There have even been some like “What if I am unable to keep believing?”
The Tuesday after Thanksgiving I sat in chapel and was really happy just to be there. As the music started up and the people were shifted into a time of musical worship to God I got those random doubts. I closed my eyes and sang along with the songs. I had learned not to allow thoughts to take over what is supposed to be a time about God. But then the speaker got up and began to talk. Overall, the talk was frustrating because he too was kind of doubting. And by the end of his talk there was nothing positive coming out of his mouth. He ended the talk in a very negative way. And, bam, chapel was over. I sat there and shook my head. No matter what we are feeling, God is still in control, couldn't the guy have said that? God is still on His throne! God is still sovereign! God is still alive and moving! Faith is not about how I feel or how you feel.
Last December I sat in the Pray Room at the International House of Prayer in Kansas City allowing myself to ask the Lord of All questions that sounded “stupid.” They were not stupid, but I felt stupid having to ask them. One of the questions was, “God, what is faith?” I was reading a book by Bill Johnson called When Heaven Invades Earth and as I read Bill gave this verse:
“Now faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen.” Hebrews 11:1 NRSV.
At that I closed the book and switched to my Bible to read on in Hebrews. I found the whole chapter rich in the answer to the question I had asked.
I wish that I could say that I remembered Hebrews 11 after chapel, but I did not. I went to lunch and found out that my semester had just gotten more stressful. Then I took some time alone with God. I was not reminded of Hebrews 11 as I struggled with doubt because I struggled more with stress and instead God reminded me of Philippians 4:6 and 4:13.
However, the fact that I sought out God was very positive. My point of this blog is that faith is not a feeling anymore than love is simply a feeling. You just have to have faith through random doubt because even small thoughts of doubt can turn into perseverance...but that is for my next blog or two.